Bolton-raised Sarah Angel rebelled from her Mormon upbringing with music. Aged 14 she left the church, finding it far too restrictive, and set her sights on becoming a star. In school, she spent more time convincing friends to audition for various TV talent competitions with her than turning up for exams. Now aged 24, as well as a fulltime career in music, Sarah Angel is a model, stylist and fashion filmmaker. Currently based in Eccles, Sarah has finished her first seven track EP ‘Dreamland’ in lockdown. Here, she talks about her song writing process, why her periods are the worst and her Black Lives Matter protest song.

You’re primarily a music artist, but tell us about your many hustles.

I started off modelling, but I felt I couldn't say as much as I wanted to say with just body language and fashion. I started writing songs to express myself. As I began making music I started styling other music artists and learned from them how to just go for it with my music. It’s been a natural flow of model, stylist, singer, and it all blends together. I edit my own music videos, make fashion films and design my own merch on my site.

Talk us through your stage name Sarah Angel.

They are actually both my real names. I was adopted when I was a few months old, and before I was given the name Sarah by my adopted parents, I was called Angel. I think I’ve had some difficulties with the idea of being adopted and so I like the thought of connecting to both me’s. Sarah Angel is a connection of self.

 

How do you think being adopted has affected you?

As it all happened so young, all I can really remember is life with my adoptive parents but I’ve always felt like a part of me was missing. I’ve felt pushed out of my adoptive family at times and my dad has brought up me being adopted before in arguments. We have quite a tumultuous relationship. It has been difficult to come to terms with. After watching the documentary Three Identical Strangers about three twins separated at birth who all grew up with depression, it made me realise that even if something like this happens so young, you always sense that something isn’t right.

I’m not in contact with my birth parents but I plan to change that this year. I’ve always felt like there has been a hole in my life and since finding out I have siblings who didn’t want the adoption to take place, I’ve decided I’m going to reach out to them. I have made a 30 page document detailing where I come from and who my parents, grandparents and siblings are. It’s important for me to find out about my birth family. I am grateful for how strong being adopted has made me, I don’t think I would be this passionate and driven had I not been adopted.

What were your musical influences growing up?

My parents were pretty musical and my dad always wanted to be a DJ so he has massive speakers in our living room that made the floor shake. It's a bit different, though, because I grew up a Mormon, so it was very religious and strict. I'm quite a spiritual person and the Mormon identity didn't sit well within my spirit, so I decided to leave the church environment. I believe that we are all churches, so you live your life how you want to go on. Just a be good, do good, receive good type mentality. So in terms of be growing up a Mormon, pursuing music was almost an act of rebellion.  .

Tell us more about what life was like growing up as a Mormon.

Daily life involved waking up early around 5.30am to say morning prayers with my dad which could last up to 40 minutes. I went to school but I had to be vigilant about making sure my skirt was below my knee and always had to cover my shoulders. Weeks involved a lot of church and from the age of eight, all girls had to go this church session for young women on Wednesdays until we were 18. There were a of restrictions. I wasn’t allowed to drink anything with caffeine, including coffee or tea, there was no sex before marriage and no dating. As soon as you started dating someone you were expected to get married. If you weren’t dating anyone then you were expected to go on a ‘mission’, which is where you travel to somewhere else in the world and teach the gospel. Mormonism made me feel trapped. It promoted that the Mormon church was the only way and unless you live by their rules, you’d never get into heaven. It never felt right.

How did life when you left the church?


When I stopped living by their rules, everything changed. I stopped praying with my dad as much and I rebelled with my style by wearing whatever I wanted outside the home. However, within the house I’d always be respectful. My dad is still trying to persuade me to come back 10 years on and it can cause friction because he truly believes it’s the right place for me to be. Leaving felt like the biggest relief. The church wasn’t good for me spiritually and I’m really glad to be on this next part of my journey with Mormonism behind me.

When did you set your sights on music?

My parents gave me piano lessons when I was younger and I’ve written poetry almost since I first picked up a pen. I was always quite an emotional child. I studied music at my first secondary school and would force all my friends into girl bands with names like Brown Sugar. We auditioned for Britain's Got Talent once but it didn't work out, partly because I don’t think any of my friends ever really wanted to do it. I was obsessed with becoming a singer superstar.

I never went to uni and I'm a college dropout. I thought I was going to fail my exams, so I didn't turn up to them. I was really depressed at the time and my anxiety was unmanageable. It’s not an excuse, but I just knew I couldn't manage myself and my emotions very well. So I dropped out, got a job in sales and my boss basically fired me because he said that I was clearly just looking for my big break.

Have you experienced any barriers in the music scene because you are a woman?

The music industry is very male and it has quite an aggressive energy, but any discrimination has only ever been subtle. There have been times that my intelligence has been underestimated or a male videographer has taken credit for work I did most of, but overall the Manchester music scene is amazing and pretty supportive. I've made a lot of friends who have helped me grow mentally and have collaborated so much. I've got two bands now in Manchester, one called The Sweet Everything's and the other Disrupt, which started through the music charity Brighter Sound. They’re based in Manchester and support young and emerging musicians. They’ve helped me and my band get on BBC Three, ITV News and we’ve performed in front of all the mayors in the UK.

Tell us about your recent single, ‘If I Can Breathe’.

I saw the George Floyd video and it broke my heart. I couldn't watch all of it and felt so powerless. My mum has been working in care homes dealing with Covid victims and she really didn’t want me to go to the protest so I had to find another way to show my support the Black Lives Matter movement. ‘If I Can Breathe’ is my own peaceful personal protest. And it’s not just for George Floyd, it’s for every black life lost like this.

What’s your song writing process?

Usually, the beat has been made and I’ll sit next to the producer playing around with words and melodies. I always note down phrases from old text messages, films, books and phone conversations with my friends or mum. I refer back to them if I’m having creative block.

I love writing at a bus stop near my mum's house. I can be there till two or three a.m. and have been stopped before by the police who ask my why I’m out there alone. It's not the safest environment but it's dark and quiet. I’m usually smoking.

Where do you usually find inspiration?

A lot of my songs are about relationships, but empowerment and self-love are my main focuses. I've written about being in a bad relationship you can’t bring yourself to leave, where sometimes the person you’re with truly believes you’re nothing without them. You can unknowingly take that on and diminish your own light. Hopefully other people going through similar dark relationships can feel less alone listening to my music and learn that you really can't do it alone. A lot of my songs are like, ‘No, I don't need you. I'm a powerhouse. Goodbye.’

What’s one of your favourite songs from your new EP?

It has to be ‘Fuck My Period’. I would say my period has been one of the hardest parts of lockdown. I understand that get my period a good thing, like great, I'm not pregnant. But why does it have to be so painful, stressful and emotional? Why do I have to pay for pads when it's just my body doing what it does? I didn't ask for this. One time in lockdown I was dancing round my room on my period, after doing all the necessary prep, but I went to the toilet and found I’d leaked everywhere. It’s just the grossness of it all. I feel like my whole life has been running up to this song. How dare men not have periods.

How has life changed for you in lockdown?

I've got quite a fun set up at the moment because my boyfriend and I are both musicians, so we’ve encouraged and helped each other a lot. Despite my laptop being painfully slow I’ve managed to finish my first EP ‘Dreamland’ which will be released on 8th August. Given that gigs and modelling jobs have been cancelled, I’ve also been looking for new ways to make money, like creating merchandise for my online shop. Some really cool projects have got put on hold, but I’m hoping I’ll be able to pick them back up towards the end of the year. I really love what I do, so it’s been hard to have opportunities slip through my fingers.

Tell us about a bump in the road that you’d never want to change.

I've had quite a crazy life, but I wouldn’t change anything. Everything has made me who I am today. I’m stronger and more resilient. Quite recently, a bad relationship has brought me closer to my parents, which I had been lacking before. You need the bad for the good, because after the storm comes a rainbow. So just keep pushing forward through the hard times.

Any advice for those trying to break into the music industry?

Be prepared for a long road, it's not going to be a short trip. Be patient and don't expect the first, second and third song you write to get you to the top. Just keep going and have self-belief. Don’t be your own worst enemy and let the thoughts that you’re not good enough take over.

QUICK FIRE QUESTIONS

THREE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOUR MUSIC, AESTHETIC.

• ETHEREAL, GLAM, ROCK.
  

THREE WORDS YOU WANT YOUR MUSIC TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL.

• INSPIRED, POSITIVE AND LIBERATED.

WHAT'S THE SONG YOU ALWAYS BLAST THE MOST CREATIVITY?

• ‘THE LOOK’ BY METRONOMY.

PERFECT MIDNIGHT SNACK?

• HONEY ROASTED CASHEWS AND PEANUTS.

WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING IN YOUR BAG AT ALL TIMES?

• I DON’T LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT THREE HUGE BAGS. I NEED TO BE OVERPREPARED AT ALL TIMES, I CAN'T NOT HAVE WHAT I NEED SO I CARRY EVERYTHING. IT CAN BE EXHAUSTING.

WHO SHOULD WE BE FOLLOWING THEM INSTAGRAM?

• @MEMEGOLD IS AN INCREDIBLE DESIGNER.

WHO SHOULD WE BE FOLLOWING FOR THE LOLS ON INSTAGRAM?

• MY FRIEND @THATGURLAMG IS SUPER-HOT AND FUNNY.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE THING TO DO IN MANCHESTER?

• THRIFT SHOPPING AT THE THRIFT SHOP IN PICCADILLY GARDENS.

WHAT ARE THE FIVE WORDS THAT SUM UP YOUR CURRENCY IN LIFE?

• RUNNING, COCKTAILS, MUSIC, MAKEUP AND NETFLIX.

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